Thanksgiving, a day where we are supposed to surround ourselves with friends, family, and food, and be, well, thankful for all of the blessings in our life. But as I think most people know, as nice as it is to have the whole family together again, our relatives aren’t always the easiest people to get along with. As it just so happens, this week’s parsha teaches us an extremely valuable lesson on how to handle our families during this week’s gathering.

The parsha starts out with Yaakov right after he’s run away from home after stealing his brother’s birthright. We learn that he goes to his uncle Lavan’s house and when he gets to the city where his uncle lives, he sees Rachel, Lavan’s daughter, with her sheep at a well. The passuk states “And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother and the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother, that Jacob drew near and rolled the rock off the mouth of the well, and he watered the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother.”

We know the Torah never uses any unnecessary words, so why does the passuk state three times that Lavan was the brother of Yaakov’s mother? What is so important about this relationship that the Torah deems it necessary to repeat it three times? We learn later in the Parsha that Lavan is a deceitful and evil man when he gives Yaakov Leah to marry, instead of Rachel, the sister he was in love with. However, instead of blowing up at his uncle, Yaakov calmly agrees to work another seven years to marry Rachel. Many people question why the Torah includes the whole book of Breishies, because the Torah is supposed to be a book of laws to live our lives by, and Breishies is really just a book of stories about creation and the Avot. Well all of these stories are also to teach us how to live our lives.

Rashi tells us that Yaakov knew that Lavan was a deceitful man that would try to switch the brides on him, but he still trusted him to do what he asked, because he was family. By the Torah stating the relationship between Yaakov and Lavan three times it was telling us why even when the brides were switched Yaakov never blew up at Lavan and continued to honor him, because he was family.

As much as we love our family, G-d knows they can be handful, and at get togethers it’s sometimes so much easier to withdraw into our cell phones than to be present at the table. But they are family. So lets take a tip from Yaakov, even if a relative says something that irks us, or pinches our cheeks a little too hard, or even makes the comment again about how you need to find a nice Jewish girl/boy, lets not blow up, lets not hide behind our screens, lets engage in conversation, pass the mashed potatoes, and remember, they’re family.

Shabbat Shalom,

Richelle Willner-Martin